Teen Angst

No-one really tells you that raising Teens is a physical, mental puzzle where all your resources come into play and the ones you don’t have you have to find/grow pretty bloody quick!

Being the parent of teenagers is a puzzle wrapped inside a conundrum.

You have to show you are in control, whilst knowing that you have none.

You have to make strict boundaries, and cross your fingers behind your back that they don’t break them, even if they give them a good hard push.

You have to pick your battles, turn a blind eye, and trust your gut all at the same time.

You have to stand right beside them no matter what, but you can’t be their friend.

You have to forgive..

and forgive…

and forgive…

yourself as well as your child.

You have to make sure they know you love them, even when you are shrieking at them.

Sometimes, you have to trust them even when you have very little reason to because sooner or later they will walk out of your eyesight.

You have to let them know you aren’t afraid of embarrassing them by calling the police, of calling the parents at the party, or turning up and that you mean it – even though they say they will hate you or not forgive you for doing so.

You have to not take anything they say or do personally LOL!

And you have to hold your head up high and smile at the people who judge you for your teenagers’ lifestyle/personality/judgement calls even though you may have other kids at home who are angels.

You have to find humor…and common ground…wherever and whenever you can.

And you have to keep doing it over and over again, until they get it and they grow up.

Many people think they are better at doing it than others – but often it’s the luck of the draw  When those kids of ours are out of our presence they are their own entities and despite what we may think, our rules and regulations aren’t worth the paper they’re written on when these guys are out under their own recognizance.  How many of us recall all that we did that our parents never knew about…don’t think your kids are doing anything less.

“This too will pass” and “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – they were totally made up by parents of teenagers!

6 Comments

  1. And you are doing a damn fine job of it if you felt pressed to write this post. Because the passion shows you care. A lot.

    TFM is 14 in a few weeks. We are just setting sail into these waters. It’s already getting choppy.

    Thanks for the inspiration x

  2. Oh, no, I am having enough trouble with the disobedience, frustration and challenges of a 5 3/4 yr old, and a 3 yr old!!

  3. I’m with Dixiebelle, oh no it gets worse!! My 6 year old is teenager in waiting already. Sometimes she turns into a little old lady too.
    Your words show what a terrific mum you are, I’ll have to remember them for the teen years ahead!

  4. Thanks guys! 🙂 My eldest son (16) didn’t prepare us at all for the way teenagers can be, and we were so smug about what a great job we were doing…HA! Our perfect storm came when middle child turned 12 and what I have to remember and remind those who know and love him, is that he is still the loving, funny kid deep inside – he just has his own way of negotiating his way into what is now, a very different world to him – but we have to make an extra effort to keep him safe while he does it. Phew. But I still look at him and see the toddler who could make me laugh – and that’s important right now!!

  5. OMG, I don’t remember you living in my house… but you must have been there at least a few times. We successfully sailed one teen through and he’s now human again, which is soooo nice to see. Now we are treading choppy waters again with our next one, and the best bit is, nothing we learned with our son is good for our daughter. Gee, thanks Universe, what was the point of that steep learning curve then?

    I always figured, if they knew how to behave to other people’s parents, and if they came home alive, it wasn’t all bad. So far so good… sort of, LOL.

    Thanks for a fab post.

  6. Oh, and btw, I said successfully sailed one through… but it was a nightmare ride some of the time, very, very stormy seas. I take my hat off to every parent and teen who’s been there and is still upright.

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