Generally, I don’t have a problem with getting older at all. Older, wiser yadda yadda….it’s great: I care far less about things I deem unimportant and I have a better filter between my brain and my mouth. Most of the time.
But some things really do get on my wick, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m becoming more intolerant, more easily irritated or if these things just suck. I would suggest the latter. So, in no particular order and with apologies to those who are squeamish and men…things that suck when you’re an old girl…
1. Still getting periods a decade after you’ve decided you will not be giving birth to anymore children.
2. PMT getting worse as you get older (because see No.1)….and still not being able to identify that’s what’s wrong until you’ve eaten your weight in Salt and Vinegar chips.
3. Periods combined with pre-menopausal symptoms. Are you kidding me?
4. Dealing with the teenagers irrational hormones crashing around the house at the same time as your own also go crashing irrationally around the house in the other direction.
5. Finding out the hard way that you need glasses..i.e. going to get your eyebrows threaded and having the lady ask if you want your lip and chin done too, and then showing you with her 100x magnified superlit mirror why she’s asking. Oh the horror.
6. Facial hair…WTF?! Give. Me. A. Break.
7. Grey hair that grows overnight and sticks out from your scalp like a piece of uncooked spaghetti.
8. Falling asleep on the couch in the first commercial break after you’ve pissed off the rest of the family by pulling rank to watch your favorite telly show. And it’s not even 9pm.
9. Wearing a bra. It sucks all the time, but it sucks waaaay more for me at 45. Sometimes I don’t even wait to get home to get that baby off.
10. Walking into a room three times and forgetting every single time what I came in for.
11. Having to be the supervising driver…which means staying awake, and not panicking, and having a thick skin and being sensitive and not bossy…ugh See No. 4 but in a CAR!
12. Hangovers suck a lot more too….mostly because you should know better by now.
Now I try to be a ‘Que Sera Sera’ person, but none of this seems particularly fair. In a very long and slow moving queue at Spotlight recently, an old, old lady slowly walked past the length of the queue on her walker with her basket and went to the next cashier open and when someone tapped her on the shoulder to point to the line behind her, she turned and loudly said “I’m too old for this shit, I’m 82, I’ve earned the right to do what I like!”…all the under 35’s were aghast, but me and the other over 40’s shrugged our shoulders and agreed. More power to her.
Are you getting older and crankier? Just me then?