Things That Suck When You’re an Old Girl

Generally, I don’t have a problem with getting older at all.  Older, wiser yadda yadda….it’s great: I care far less about things I deem unimportant and I have a better filter between my brain and my mouth.  Most of the time.

But some things really do get on my wick, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m becoming more intolerant, more easily irritated or if these things just suck.  I would suggest the latter.  So, in no particular order and with apologies to those who are squeamish and men…things that suck when you’re an old girl…

1. Still getting periods a decade after you’ve decided you will not be giving birth to anymore children.

2.  PMT getting worse as you get older (because see No.1)….and still not being able to identify that’s what’s wrong until you’ve eaten your weight in Salt and Vinegar chips.

3. Periods combined with pre-menopausal symptoms.  Are you kidding me?

4.  Dealing with the teenagers irrational hormones crashing around the house at the same time as your own also go crashing irrationally around the house in the other direction.

5. Finding out the hard way that you need glasses..i.e. going to get your eyebrows threaded and having the lady ask if you want your lip and chin done too, and then showing you with her 100x magnified superlit mirror why she’s asking.  Oh the horror.

6.  Facial hair…WTF?!  Give.  Me.  A.  Break.

7. Grey hair that grows overnight and sticks out from your scalp like a piece of uncooked spaghetti.

8. Falling asleep on the couch in the first commercial break after you’ve  pissed off the rest of the family by pulling rank to watch your favorite telly show.  And it’s not even 9pm.

9. Wearing a bra.  It sucks all the time, but it sucks waaaay more for me at 45.  Sometimes I don’t even wait to get home to get that baby off.

10. Walking into a room three times and forgetting every single time what I came in for.

11. Having to be the supervising driver…which means staying awake, and not panicking, and having a thick skin and being sensitive and not bossy…ugh See No. 4 but in a CAR!

12. Hangovers suck a lot more too….mostly because you should know better by now.

Now I try to be a ‘Que Sera Sera’ person, but none of this seems particularly fair.  In a very long and slow moving queue at Spotlight recently, an old, old lady slowly walked past the length of the queue on her walker  with her basket and went to the next cashier open and when someone tapped her on the shoulder to point to the line behind her, she turned and loudly said “I’m too old for this shit, I’m 82, I’ve earned the right to do what I like!”…all the under 35’s were aghast, but me and the other over 40’s shrugged our shoulders and agreed.  More power to her.

Are you getting older and crankier?  Just me then?

Joining up for Weekend Rewind hosted by Maxabella lovesLife, Love and HiccupsSonia StylingKelly Exeter and Cooker and a Looker.


About Alyson

I am a 45+ chick. I live in the country with 3 almost (apparently) adult children teenagers, 1 husband and many animals. Here's the thing: The black dog also hangs with me occasionally and, thank the baby cheeses, life is not perfect. That's OK, because I work hard to be a glass half-full person and I can't lie! I write to help my head, heart and humor...and I tell myself 'I've got this!'


  1. Oh I am soooo getting older and crankier… in fact I am sitting here reading blogs with sore boobs and stuffing my face with salt and vinegar chips lol xx

  2. Absolute gold yet again Al! Number 7 is doing my head in at the moment – how do they sprout so quick?! And repel ALL hair colour? It’s downright freaky. And number 2 – sigh. Periods are just so boring!! I had a particular brand of salt and vinegar chips the other day (medicinal purposes) and they were really strong, they were great. Until the next day the skin was peeling off my lips from the potency of the salt and vinegar-ness of the chips. Its a cruel world sometimes.

    • Thanks darling Em! It’s a terrible terrible thing when your food turns on you when you’re at your most vulnerable on top of everything else! Xx

  3. Hell yeah, especially those first few. ESPECIALLY number three. Also, I find it’s not just bras, my boobs in general annoy me all the time. What are they even for now? They just get in the way…

    • My boobs only came along ten years ago and they just sit there so they don’t trouble me much except at PMT time and then I feel betrayed by the world!!

  4. This getting older really does suck Aly….I can relate to 1-4.. And sometimes dealing with adult children is just as bad..You would think they would know better…. I can definitely relate to the rest. xxx Aunty Rom

    • Aunty Rom, you are an absolute treasure and I never think of you as an old girl! I’ve got a feeling these kids we have are always going to challenge us one way or another 🙂 and that’s why we get to spoil the grandkids! XXXX

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  6. Hey Al,
    This might make you feel a little better…
    1. I am on Depo Povelera, puts an end to periods and the pain from endometriosis (the only upside of being epileptic.)
    2. See #1.
    3. See #1.
    4. At least teenagers don’t puke cow manure up inside. (Thank you, golden retriever.)
    5. I haven’t been able to see without glasses for over 20 years and the last time I went to an optometrist they screwed up my prescription – like WTF?
    6. Hirsutism – have an official diagnosis and beauticians love me for it (must be my unknown Greek ancestry.)
    7. Grey hair – had it since I was 16. This one I embrace, even in it’s crazy curliness, too many of my friends never got the opportunity to get it.
    8. I just don’t get telly choice.
    9. Yep, they suck.
    10. Hell, you actually remember after three? I just keep going!
    11. Opting out with that one. Working with teenagers is enough.
    12. Best advice for this one is just stay drunk.

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